12 Step Vision

by bobsanders49

	I have allowed, called forth, created, generated and visualized a prison of my own making.
 Up to now I have denied my imprisonment. I have denied allowing substances, materials, 
false beliefs, experiences, assumptions and feelings like fear or anxiety to govern my actions. 
I have denied that I created my prison. 

	I blamed my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, children, grandchildren, 
grandparents, neighbors, the city, the state, the nation, the entire universe and 
God himself. I blamed anyone and everyone except myself! I denied that the consequences 
of my actions were generated by my actions. I visualized them as separate and unconnected.

	I saw my cage as a place to come and go as I pleased. I denied the lock on the door. 
I denied that I no longer possessed the key to escape. I denied, I rationalized, 
I demanded, I raged. And then, when all my energy was finally spend, I wept. I found 
myself powerless over my emotions, over substances, over material, audios, videos, places, 
people and everything. I was hopeless.

	From my dark, dank cell, I heard a song. I saw a light. I felt a hope. God has 
send an angel to rescue me!. 
Others turned their backs. Some others are set free, singing and praising, dancing, rejoicing.

	What about me? If they can be free. i should be able to be free too!
	"Hey", I shouted.
	"How did you get out?" I cried.
	“My Father, My Brother, His Son, they paid my debt. They set me free.”
	“My Dad is imprisoned too. How can he help?”
	“No!” the freedman cried, “Not your earthly father, your Heavenly 
Father, His son, our Savior! They can set you free!”

	Hope, do I dare see it? Do I dare touch it? Can I grasp it? 
Can I make myself believe it? Can I see myself as a glorified exalted being? 
Do I dare hope to measure up to the full stature of Christ? 
Is It possible I could have His image in my countenance? Why not? 
Why not hope for freedom? Whats the worst that could happen, become hopeless again? 
I did that and I'm not dead yet. OK, what the heck. I can Hope.

	“Jailer!” I screamed. “I want God or Jesus or somebody to get me out of here!” 
	“So,” he said “You want to be saved do you? I'll tell them you want a 'bail hearing'.”

	Inside the court of my own opinion, I sat in judgement of myself. 
I prosecuted, I plead my case, I sat in all twelve juror seats and passed judgement.
	“How do you plead?” my judge self asked myself.
	“I remember doing the things I am accused of. 
I was just doing what I felt I had to at the time.”
	The courtroom erupted in laughter.
	“Silence!” I shouted from the bench, banging the gavel. 
As the laughter ebbed, I heard the creek of a wooden bench as someone stood.
	“May I address the Court?” He asked. As Judge, I nodded.
	“I love this man. I gave my life for him. 
I already took the punishment for all of his crimes. The debt is paid.
You can ask no more.”

	I sat stunned. If the debt is paid, why was I in prison? What was going on?
	“I will not take your freedom of choice.” he said as he turned to look me in the eye. 
	“I will not alter the natural consequences of your choices. 
That's part of why it is so hard for some to believe I exist or have power. 
However, I can give you just enough power to make better choices and I can give you 
the results naturally flowing from those better choices...if you let me.”
	I sat speechless again, then said: 
	“What, How do I...?”
	“Simple, yet difficult” He said. 
“I want your heart, might, mind and strength. 
I want your body and soul. I want the rest of your whole life.”

	It took some time before I could respond.
	“I want to, but what if I slip?”
	“You have taken three big steps. There are nine more I am asking you to take. 
The last three you must do every day, until you physically or mentally can't. 
Are you willing to keep pressing forward, step by step, 
get up when you fall and move forward again?”

	Speechless, as soon as I could move, I nodded my head.
	“The defendant is remanded to the custody of The Lord, 
and will remain on probation for the rest of his natural life” I said from the bench. 
I glared at me and said:
	“You slip up or backslide and fail to get up and start moving forward again, 
just one time, you'll find yourself back in jail before you can say 'Jack Robinson'! 
You understand me Old Man? One Slip!”

	“ I got it” I murmured.
 	“Bailiff! When the prisoner shows a true change of heart, let him out.”
	“How will I know?” I asked from within my Bailiffs uniform.

“He will list his shortcomings, sins, 
faults, failings on paper, take 
responsibility for each and every 
one by confessing to proper 
Priesthood Authority, and maybe a third party. He will ask the Lord, 
here to take them all away. He will list those he has injured and make 
complete and full restitution. Finally, the Lord will let you know his 
efforts have been accepted, then you can let him go.”
	One final time I sat immobilized, trying to fathom how this was gong to work. 
I was going to need some help.
	“I have already prepared all the help you could possibly use.” He said.
	“My words to Moses, Joshua, Isiah, Jeremiah, Malachi, Matthew, Mark, Luke, 
John, Paul and Jude are before you. You also have the words of Amos, Nathan, Zenos, 
Zennock, Esaias, Lehi, Nephi, Jacob, Benjamin, Mosiah, Alma, Helaman, 
Jared and his brother Mahonrimoriancumer, Ether, Mormon, Moroni and many, many others. 

	“I taught Joseph Smith Jr. of the apostasy and directed the restoration of The Priesthood. 
The Hold Ghost has been freely given to al those who have come unto me by the waters of baptism 
and the laying on of hands, by those who are in authority.

	“ I called Apostles, Prophets, Pastors and Teachers, 
caused them to be ordained, consecrated, 
endowed with power and sent forth to proclaim liberty to the captive. 
In my name meetings are held, 
programs are discussed, acts of charity performed, 
congregations assembled to distribute my body and blood 
and individuals are strengthened by my word. 

	“All I am asking you to do is start following the promptings 
you have you have rejected in the past, read my word, Pray in my name, 
Attend Church, give acts of service and 
continually repent and improve, starting at the most grievous sins 
and continuing through the most simple faults or failings.
	“When it is time, the Holy Spirit will focus your mind on the next fault to deal with. 
Be patient, be kind, especially with yourself. Follow your heart, not your carnal mind. 
Seek love, not lust. Seek peace, not gratification. 
Seek the riches of eternity, not the wealth of mammon. Seek my will, not your own. 
Seek and ye shall find.”